Many of you have had this discussion with me before. I have had a pretty strong opinion on this matter for awhile but after listening to this interview on a TV show the other day it really solidified my opinion. (Please take time to watch/read this artice-it is very eye opening.) This is a reoccuring question that comes up in my household. "When can I get a cell phone? So and so has a cell phone!" So here is my opinion (I know this may stir some controversy and for those of you whose kids already have phones remember this is only MY opinion and everyone is different. ) Kids are so indulged these days. I look at the things my kids already have done at their young ages compared to things I was able to do and it is amazing. Society automatically indulges our kids from birth just by living in the world we live in whether we as parents choose to or not. It seems like by the time kids are adolescents most of them have already had so many luxuries that by the time they are teenagers they are only looking for more and more because they have already done it all. This seems to be getting them into trouble. They need something else or something more exciting to entertain them. I easily find myself falling into this trap as a parent. It is so easy to want to indulge our kids. It's so fun to see the excitement they get from something new. I also fall into the trap of "well all the other kids have them or are doing it and I don't want my child to be left out!" I hear this a lot about the cell phone debate. So my question is "How soon should a child get a cell phone?" Notice I say child. Would we ever install a private phone line in our child's bedroom? I wouldn't. Do we really want our kids talking to their friends on the phone all the time? I don't. I know growing up I was not allowed to be on the phone 24/7- not even close to that. Do we want to be able to hear the conversations going on between friends? I do. Do we want our kids to forget how to actually have real conversations face-to-face? Do we want them to only know how to text instead of talk? How on earth are they ever going to learn the value of communication, especially in a marriage? What about the things they are texting to each other? I have heard friends of mine say they have read some of their kids' texts and they are casually saying things like "love ya" "you're so hot" or "hey sexy". Would they actually say those things to someone face-to-face? Probably not. (Hopefully not!) My feelings about this issue really hit home when we were practicing for a Primary performance and two 11 year olds were in the chapel texting people on their phones they had both just gotten for Christmas. To them it was nothing more than a toy. How does an 11yr old have the responsibility level needed to own their own phone? Many parents use the reasoning of "well, I like to know where they are and how to get a hold of them." My thought is our kids should be where they say they are going to be and that is a valuable trust issue that needs to be learned at their age without the crutch of a cell phone. As far as getting a hold of them, how did our parents reach us when we were young? Most likely, they knew where we were and called us at the place we were at. Again, a trust issue. Okay, so I know I am coming across strong here but these are thoughts going through my head and I am interested in some different opinions. I have always said to my kids "When the time comes that we (not you) feel you need a cell phone then that's when it will happen." For example when they are driving and/or involved in a lot of worthwhile activities. I like the idea of it being my phone and not their phone. One that they turn in at night so it's not just an open line for all of their friends at any given time of the day. I thought this interview gave a lot of really good points and really reitterated the thoughts that I have had. I know that it is only going to get harder and harder as times go on to not give in to these pressures. It is scarey for me to see how much younger and younger kids are becoming in having more and more!
10 comments:
You know how your mom feels and I do realize there are some exceptions but those are rare!!!! We just attended Bud's 2nd Ward Reunion down in Provo and the gym was packed and the stories of their growing up days there when Provo was just a small town made tears come to my eyes and wish I could go back to the 1940's and take al my grandkids with me.!! Since that can't happen I say we just do our best to get back to the simple basics and uncomplicate our families lives as much as possible!
I totally agree with you! Isabelle has asked when can she get a cell phone. I know there are some second graders with phones. Its ridiculous! I'm going to try and hold out until sixteen. That's what I've told my kids from the start. I think cell phones are a toy, but scary. I agree that kids aren't mature or responsible enough to have their own private line. Especially with the camera and texting. They tend to be too bold and inappropriate.
I completely agree with you... I am just glad that I don't have to worry about that right now... but when Hayden is that age all the kids will probably have their own laptops or something and that brings in a whole new host of issues.
Stay strong! Your kids will thank you for it some day! :)
you and I have talked about htis alot....I totally agree with you. Abe has been begging for years for one and we keep saying no. I have lots of strong feelings on it as well. You made some great points. Just stay strong. Someday, they will get one, but I think elementary and even JR. High is too young. It is just so accepted now...and you are so right, kids are forgetting how to communicate the right way because of all the texting. I worry about missionaries going out that won't know how to function without a cell phone.
i am so glad to hear you say that abe won't be getting one for awhile because I KNOW if Abe gets one..Noah will be freaking out for one!
I am glad to see positive comments. I have to admit, I was a little nervous to open my blog today wondering if I was going to get blasted by my STRONG opinion.
tell us how you really feel...just kidding. i love how frank and honest you are with your opinion. although i am not there yet (thankfully) that bridge will be waiting for me. i like your idea of promoting trust and communication minus the cell phone. cell phones can even be too much for adults. i am going to give my kids a cell phone at their weddings. thanks for not being afraid to open a can of worms.
I appreciate your opinion. I'm glad we haven't had to cross this bridge yet but I'm already dreading the conversation. It's good to start thinking about it now. Thanks for all your helpful insights!
As I was reading this I was feeling kinda guilty inside because here I have a daughter who has a cell phone. We did get hers when she had dance 3 times a week and cheer everyday after school, and babysat 2 families that did not have a landline so that made me a little scared. It helped me out being able to have her call me when she was ready to be picked up. I know that it sounds like I am makinf excuses, but I also think it depends on the child.i have been very lucky because she doesn't use it like a toy, or never did. We talked about it and had major rules. I have been shocked because I never see her talking on it. She has been very responsible with it unlike ALOT of kids on it all the time and texting all the time. That, I would not go for!
i know that taylor has one and i completely respect your decision. again each situation is different but the MAJORITY of kids fall into the category I was talking about. You are a great mom Amy and are making good choices! love ya!
Hi Kristen -
Just came across your blog and wanted to put in my two cents. I hope you don't mind. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that feels that way about cell phones. I really don't want my kids to have them for a long time. I am so bothered when I hear about kids getting calls and texting in the middle of the night. I think it is so inappropriate! And all the news about the nude photo trading, etc.. The kids don't seem to understand that it's porn! Even my cell phone use is very limited. I take it with me when I leave during the day in case the school has to get a hold of me, but that's about the only time I have it.
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