Terrible Two's? That's an UNDERSTATEMENT!

I am warning you upfront..this is going to be a very negative post. However, it is written out of desperation and frustration. For those of you who know me, I am very honest. (too honest most of the time! ie. do people really need to know when I am constipated?) I do not place my children on a pedastal. I do not pretend they are perfect. Well I am going to "let the cat out of the bag" and announce to you all that my beautiful 2 yr old "princess" has suddenly turned into the "wicked witch of the north, south, east AND west"! First of all, before I elaborate, I will admit that she definitely "has my number"! I realize this and could probably tell any of YOU how to handle the situation according to Super Nanny or Dr. Laura, etc. But for some reason, it is harder to be objective when it is your own kids and lately, all I want to do is sit in a corner and cry. Let me begin. She freaks out if I sing! (unless she is asking me to) She won't even let me sing in church. She says "Don't sing mom!" She will not eat off any plate other than a pink one. She will only use a spoon, not a fork. She goes nuts if there is a hair on her. She thinks any sort of lint or string that is black is a SPIDER and goes balistic! She throws herself down in the hall of church and screams the second we walk through the doors. She insists on walking through a parking lot HERSELF! Even if it's covered in ice. She won't take a nap. She screams for a good half hour at night at bedtime. She won't eat ANY vegetables and not much else of nutritional value. She insists on eating string cheese and then just shreds it up and places it all over the house. (found it in my shower this morning) She screams when I drop Connor off at school because she wants to go to "her school". She smears her food all over herself, including her hair, at each meal. She screams all through sacrament meeting. She screams when she sees Zach passing the sacrament because she wants him. She won't wear certain outfits. She floods the bathroom with every bath. She won't let me blow-dry her hair (okay I will cut her slack on that one) She won't ride in the front of the cart-only the back and then insists on standing up. I could go on and but do you get the picture? When I am at home I rarely cave in to all her demands. Time out has started to really work. However, when I am in public it is a different matter. I know I need to leave the store, don't try to go to lunch, pull over the car if needed when she is having a hissy fit, etc. I know all these things and really do try hard to do them but sometimes it's just not realistic. For example, do I quit going to church? Obviously whatever I am doing is not working. Now let me tell you all that I love this girl to death just in case you are getting the wrong idea here but I am really starting to want her to "grow up" so she will grow out of this stage and that makes me SO sad! Any advice?